What My Seventh-Day Adventist Childhood Got Right

How a faith I left still shapes my life, and the unexpected wisdom I carried with me

I grew up in a tiny Seventh-Day Adventist Church—so small that calling it a “church” almost feels like a stretch. At most, we had 20-30 attendees, and with so few kids close to my age, there was never much in the way of big youth programs or social activities. They tried, off an on, to create something for us, but with only about five kids spanning over a ten-year age gap (including infants), most of us were either bored or simply not engaged. The real learning happened in the main service. It wasn’t unusual to raise your hand mid-sermon to ask a question—something I later realized would be unthinkable in the massive, polished mega churches I attended as an adult.

There were so few people in that tiny church that everyone took on multiple roles—teacher, greeter, kitchen volunteer. One of the constants, though, was a woman we all knew as ‘The Cookie Lady.’ Nearly every week, she’d show up with homemade cookies and brownies, and when she found out I didn’t like nuts, she even started making me my own separate batch. That small kindness meant more than I could have understood at the time, but it’s something I still remember today. In fact, I’m still in touch with her, and her warmth has outlasted any sermon.

As a kid, I hated it— the isolation, the smallness, the lack of vibrant community I saw in other churches. I resented it. I longed for what I thought of as a “normal” church—one with big youth groups, fun events, and more people. I even assumed that because we worshiped on Saturday instead of Sunday, that had to be the reason for the small numbers, and therefore, we must be doing it wrong. But as I’ve spent years untangling my experiences with faith and religion, I’ve realized that, while I don’t align with all of their beliefs, there were some things my Seventh-Day Adventist upbringing got right.

Somewhere towards the end of middle school, a friend from my 4-h club invited me to her youth group. They were going to California that summer for youth conference and of course I wanted to go.

It took some begging and pleading to get my mom to let me go to their youth group, me reminding her that because they went on Sundays and Wednesday nights it wouldn’t even interfere with her church and I could still attend as she wanted. She finally let me go. And I was able to experience what it was like to be around groups of people my age, that actually had events and games and things I didn’t even realize I was missing so much before attending.

At first, I thought I’d finally found what was missing. The big groups, the fun events, the sense of belonging. But over time, I started to see that the teachings here were just as flawed—if not more so—in different ways. While I met some amazing people there as well, it took far longer into my adulthood than I care to admit undoing some of the religious trauma and false teachings I was taught there.

I’ve been to a few other churches in different cities after that, but none of them seemed right. I left the last one towards the end of 2016-2017 after years of ignoring God telling me to leave it. Obviously why would I think that was God telling me to leave the church? I had no idea at the time that what I was seeing in that church was the political corruption we’re all seeing now across the nation.

I’ve never gone back nor even looked for one since then, and have pretty much isolated myself in the proverbial spiritual wilderness for the better part of the last 5 years. And I find it fascinating how doing so has made me realize the wisdom in some of what I was taught in the Seventh-Day Adventist Church as a child.

1. Clean Eating.

A vast majority are vegetarian and eat a lot of plant based -not processed, but the real food—and fresh produce, similarly to the Mediterranean diet. They properly prioritize veggies, fruits, whole grains, nuts, and legumes, unlike the typical “American” diet. That’s something I’ve found truly beneficial to my own health as I’ve been working to clear out the toxins that crept in over the years. The Seventh-day Adventists were even featured in the Netflix documentary about Blue Zones because of their healthy diet and lifestyle.

Beyond just diet, their approach to time and rest was another area where they were ahead of the curve.

2. Saturday as a day of rest.

As I went into highschool and beyond, I started to resent the rule that we were supposed to rest from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, it made it virtually impossible to go out with friends or do much of anything at all as most things were closed on Sundays and a lot of my friends went to church then. Youth group at the other church became my only weekend activity just for the sake of socializing for most of high school. I despised it. But honestly, it makes more sense.

After a long week of work, I’d much prefer to rest first and then go out, as that follows what my body naturally wants, as I’ve learned from doing my own thing and following my natural rhythm for the past few years. In fact, it caused more stress and anxiety in adulthood when I did try to hurry and keep going through Friday and Saturday to socialize and get all of my errands done.

What I truly despised then was that so much is closed on Sunday making it virtually impossible to get everything I need done. That said, for the few things that are open, Sunday mornings are pure bliss for taking a run, walking the dog, or even grocery shopping if you want to avoid crowds. I actually enjoy it and just wish there were more options.

3. No hierarchies imposed by man blocking people from fulfilling God’s calling for them.

I had no idea for almost the first half of my life that there were actual churches who claimed women couldn’t lead them. The Seventh-day Adventists knew that God could call on anyone to be a leader and didn’t feel the need to impede that. I was encouraged from a very young age, to fulfill that calling in myself. We often had guest pastors come in once a month or so to give the sermon. A woman from a couple of hours away- my absolute favorite growing up—would often come speak.

It wasn’t until attending the other youth group that I discovered women “couldn’t” be pastors. Lol at that. That place left such a scar. Anywhere that has some false hierarchy like that is a red flag. Not just for women, but for everyone. While on the surface the focus appears like it might be on keeping women down, it keeps everyone down and blocks them from doing what they are actually called to do through a means of control that does not come from God or anywhere good. It’s part of the “othering” that feeds extremism and the problems we’re facing as a society now.

4. They taught me to question everything and seek deeper answers and understanding.

As you can imagine, not everyone received it well when I did. I remember sitting in Sabbath school-one of the times they tried having it- learning about Adam and Eve. It didn’t make sense that Adam got the “Adam’s Apple” if Eve was the one blamed for eating it. The lady teaching was not pleased with my questioning, and went off on my Mother for it.

When learning about Noah and the flood, I recall asking why we were celebrating God and how we could really look at the rainbow as sign of his promises when he let everyone else die like that. No way they were all evil as the story is portrayed. It made me sad to think about.

I never looked at Job as a positive story either. I recall asking in the middle of the church service why God allowed himself to be tempted by satan to let him harm Job to prove that Job loved him. I knew that was messed up even as a kid and no perfect being could possibly be that foolish to not see they were being manipulated. I could see God was being manipulated in that story as a kid, and I was shocked the pastor didn’t see that. It went into a rather lengthy conversation that the pastor kept giving superficial responses and left him flustered that a child was questioning God. Weird I thought. He’s the one that preached about how we should question everything. My Mother told me I wasn’t supposed to ask questions during the sermon anymore after that. That lasted about 2 weeks until one of our frequent guest pastors came to preach. The pastor was looking to me for questions, as she had become used to it, and actually appreciated it. I was grateful for that. How was I supposed to learn if I couldn’t ask questions?

The whole premise behind asking the hard questions was that the Bible was written by man, and so much of it had been lost in translation that there was no way to know for sure what was what. That’s why there are hundreds of translations in the English language alone. They also taught that the devil is crafty and even the Bible and the church itself is not immune to the lies and deceit that will inevitably creep in. If we don’t dig deep in understanding, if we’re too afraid to question and seek answers, we stand on shaky ground and are more susceptible to false teachings.

Turns out, though I left organized religion, those lessons stuck and helped me navigate life since. I’ve never been afraid of the answers or finding more information that shows me my current understanding is wrong on any subject matter because of those lessons. For that I am grateful. There were some who did not appreciate my seeking deeper understanding, as an adult I realize it’s because they were too afraid of finding out or that they’d be wrong. What’s wrong with being wrong? The only “wrong” is staying stuck with something because you don’t want to keep learning and make necessary changes. Being wrong doesn’t make you look foolish, refusal to admit and learn from it does.

But many appreciated my questions and seeking deeper understanding and they often encouraged me to continue. While the small church made me feel lonely as child, looking back I appreciate the opportunities to ask questions and how often the sermons turned into group research discussions. That lesson—never being afraid to dig deeper—stayed with me far beyond church. It’s helped me navigate the absurdity of the past several years, not just in faith but in everything.

5. They can admit when they went wrong, and they don’t know what to do next, but are committed to figuring out.

It’s no secret to anyone-Christian or not- that religions have played a significant role in the suffering worldwide for centuries. Seventh-day Adventists are not immune to the damage they caused. In fact much of the Central African Republic, and surrounding areas are still in unrest over what many of their “missions” did over there in the 90’s and the role many Adventists played in the genocide in Rwanda in 1994.

Something I didn’t even learn about until a decade later in high school, when I was sitting in the basement of the other church with the youth group for a communion night. A family who I was just meeting for the first time, had been living over there doing missions from this church for years, but things became so dangerous that they were forced to flee. While getting to know everyone at our table the mother asked what church I had attended before. When I told her, her energy completely changed to anger. “They’re the reason my friends are dead. They’re the reason we almost died. I almost lost my family because of the Seventh-day Adventists.”

I was in highschool for heavens sake, a little much to put on a kid there but she definitely resented me the rest of the time I was there. I had to go research what she was talking about as I had no idea. Until that point, I had wanted to go into missions. That changed my mind and my entire perception on missions work and if it was such a good thing after all. Though I did a couple of short term missions work with the youth group later on, including a kids program in a park for a week in Canada, to this day, I question any missions trip now—if the story we’re shown is really what’s happening over there.

In a 2019 article posted in Spectrum Magazine “The immorality of Silence: Adventist Leadership in Times of Conflict” it lays out what should be done when they have been wrong, and calls on the church to own up to their mistakes:

“When the Apartheid regime collapsed and it became obvious that power would shift to the African National Congress, the greatest fear was indiscriminate reprisal by the black population on white South Africans. But responsible leaders, most of them clergy like Bishop Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela, stepped in. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission was set up and victims of gross human rights abuses told their stories. And accusers defended themselves, provided contexts or, in the majority of cases, apologized for past wrongs. This quasi-judiciary process, sometimes contentious, other times humbling, is widely credited for providing a troubled nation with a cathartic, non-punitive outlet for washing out encrusted dirt from a soiled national fabric. Post-Apartheid South Africa has had its difficulties, but it avoided a bloodbath by honestly confronting its past. The church should do no less.”

Ignoring the harm done, only causes more pain and suffering, and it is far too common in society to do just that. It’s not just about apologies, as apologies do not bring back the lives lost, but the changes in actions now, to not repeat those mistakes.

6. They taught me to speak up when things are wrong, and to facilitate change to make them right.

One of the core values I was taught was that it was never ok to remain silent about injustice. We were -as followers of Jesus- to speak out and speak up. Something I’ve noticed recently in my researching different denominations to figure out which ones are supporting the Christian Nationalists -in revelation, the Christian Nationalist movement is the one talked about that are part of the majority who will turn from God- and which ones are calling it out. Even though I haven’t attended in decades—and there isn’t even one near me if I wanted to—it still warmed my heart to see them speaking out against it. There have even been articles in both the Adventist Review, and Adventist World calling it out as harmful, and pointing out that the church and state should not be joining forces. At a SDA conference in October 2023, the nadaventist.org they show just that very thing, Leslie Pollard, President of Oakwood University, Minister, and Author put it well as to what those still following Christ should be doing:

“You [have] two views here, and two choices. There’s Christian nationalism, which conflates a flag with the cross and makes them virtually synonymous. And you’ve got the other view … which separates those things, which allows a respectable patriotism — meaning that we should be committed to not only helping the country … [but also] calling it back to accountability.”

Pollard concluded with two choices: Romanticize the Republic and work to recreate it in our Christian image and threaten our liberties; or remind the Republic of its constitutional confession and work to guarantee civil and religious liberty for the most vulnerable populations. We are not called to be neutral, Pollard said. We are called to stand on one side of the controversy.”

While I’m impressed with them speaking out against it, I went to their website to see if they had changed some of their own harmful beliefs that were there when I was a child. I’m saddened to see that has not taken place yet. To any Seventh-day Adventist who may be reading now, I invite you to look deeper into the views and harmful things surrounding Christian Nationalism that is causing the very polarization that was discussed at the conference, and recognize how some of that “Otherism” that you often call out, is still in your very own belief system.

The political and cultural unrest has shown us the harms in extremism, othering people, and unveiled many things that we’ve allowed to fester under the surface for too long. It is the perfect opportunity to ensure that we are not facilitating any of that in our personal lives, nor our belief systems that we lead or follow. It is the perfect opportunity to be proactive in not repeating the same mistakes that were made in Africa in the 90’s, nor the mistakes made in Germany in the ‘40’s. It is the opportunity to reflect on how some of those doctrines, could be playing a role in what causes some to stray and opens the doors to them being vulnerable to the extremism.

Overall, the Seventh Day Adventists have done a great job of following through with their own teachings of speaking up and admitting when they have gotten it wrong. I hope they continue to do so, as It shows growth and maturity—and I hope it sets an example for other denominations to follow. I also hope others come to realize, the very reason so many are turning away from Christianity, is because of Christian Nationalism, the senseless suffering it is causing, and the silence of far too many.

While I have no plans to return to organized religion, I can recognize that not everything about my Seventh-Day Adventist upbringing was harmful. In fact, some of the values I was taught there—like questioning everything, standing up against injustice, and prioritizing health—have served me well. The irony isn’t lost on me that the very things that made me feel out of place as a kid—the freedom to ask questions, the lack of rigid hierarchy, and the expectation to challenge authority when something wasn’t right—are the same things that helped me walk away when I needed to.

Even as I’ve distanced myself from Christianity, I can appreciate the parts of my upbringing that shaped me in ways I now value. Not because they were tied to religion, but because they instilled in me the ability to think critically, seek truth, and refuse to accept easy answers just because someone in power says so. That is something worth holding onto.

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